


The Real Monster

by sartiebodyshots



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Episode: Slash and Destroy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 21:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5179913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raphael thinking about his pet in the aftermath of Slash and Destroy</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Real Monster

For once Raphael doesn’t slam his way into his room.  He opens the door sadly and shuts it quietly.  Maybe he shouldn’t slam things anymore.

Despite his outwardly calm demeanor, Raph’s head is racing after they get back to the lair from their fight with Spike.  It still doesn’t seem real.  His pet (and best friend) tried to kill his family… and it’s all his fault.

He’s the one who said all the terrible stuff to Spike.  He’s the one who wasn’t responsible with the mutagen, right after berating Donnie about his own irresponsibility. 

At first, Raph had wanted to blame how twisted Spike was on the mutagen- it screws stuff up all the time, right?

But the thing is, the mutagen also made his brothers and Master Splinter.  So if they’re all good people, and Spike is evil, then that can’t’ve been because of the mutagen.

It had to be because of him.  And if telling a perfectly innocent turtle about his innermost thoughts turned him into a monster, what does that make Raphael?

Maybe _he’s_ the real monster here.  He is the angriest and the most violent of his brothers.  He’s always the first in a fight and he’s always spewing mean words at his brothers.  He never wants to stop fighting, either.  All his other brothers have other stuff they’re interested in, but Raph just likes to fight.

Normally, this is when he would talk to Spike about what’s bothering him.  He’d tell Spike everything he’s thinking and feeling and it’d help him figure it out. 

Instead, he just feels the familiar anger bubbling up inside of him, but… worse somehow.  More bitter.  It’d make him feel sick, except all he feels is the anger.

He grabs something off his dresser and throws it at the door in anger, screaming incoherently.  Then he just feels empty afterwards.

All he wanted was one friend, one person he could talk to with no judgments and no mockery, and all it does is end up beating everyone to pieces.  From now on, no more talking to anyone about how he feels.  That brings nothing but trouble.

All of his brothers should hate him- he’s pretty sure he hates himself- and kick him out for their own good.  But they won’t because they’re morons and weak and _stupid_ and-

Raph realizes he’s being angry and mean again and he doesn’t understand why he’s like this!  It isn’t fair! 

He sighs and lays in bed, trying to fall asleep just to block it all out.  But instead he just lays there all night, trying to figure out how to be less of a monster.


End file.
